Heart Portal
Sitting by these sacred rivers and thinking of all the stories they have witnessed. Mine, as twisting and winding as they come. I love sharing bits of beauty I see in the world online, but there’s been much more brewing in my hearts chamber these last years. Maybe it’s the potent charge of Lion’s Gate, but It feels time to share a little more authentically.
Towards the end of 2023, I separated from a relationship I had been holding on to for a long time. Our uncoupling was gradual, as it seemed we grew one degree apart every day until we eventually acknowledged just how much our paths had diverged. The best way we could honor each other was to let one another grow, unrestrictedly in our own divine directions.
After living in 5 different countries and 5 different states, I’m no stranger to change. I’ve loved, I’ve left - and I’ve learned to trust myself again. I could have stayed in a life that looked good on paper, that made sense to my family and community — but my soul remembered something beyond me.
This radical shift took me deep back into my inner space. What desires were there beneath the surface? Above all, my heart kept calling me back to India ~ to this recurring dream of the Himalayas.
Most decisions in my life before this have felt like… okay I have to choose something so let’s choose this college! this city! this country! It would last a while, I would gain new experiences, try them on for size, and then be ready for something else. Following a temporary excitement rather than surrendering to the flow of life.
If you know me well you’ve probably heard me say before but it still feels so true — each time I had left leave Rishikesh there was this aching. Some internal knowing that more of my story was meant to play out there. Or maybe a remembering from before. After ignoring this feeling twice before, I gave way to this pull and melted into the lap of the Himalayas.
My arrival here was soft, like I was dipping my toes into new possibilities. Healing with knowledge and novelty. I didn’t know how long this would last, so I treaded carefully. Being here I’ve been met with warmth, friendship, and a love that has been the most beautiful combining of worlds. In these twenty moons since arriving back, I’ve completely fallen in love with the life I have been weaving together along the way. What started as dipping my toes in has now become a sacred plunge ~ a dive, headfirst realizing how to float in even the most turbulent waves of change. None of this was planned, but it’s always been written in the stars.
To this day I still feel that same ache upon departing this place. A knowing that this is one of the places my soul is meant to reside. I recognize that time is now. I’ve applied for another year of residency, and I’m excited to continue deepening my roots here. Learning more ancient wisdom and nourishing my heart.
So if you want to find me ~ I’ll be here! Pointing my arrow towards my future vision and allowing these holy waters to guide my way there.